Reflections on travel

Halfway through this journey (holy crap!, it’s halfway over.. don’t freak out), I suppose maybe some reflection is warranted.  Let’s start with some thoughts on travel:

Perusing old landmarks up North several weeks ago, I was struck by the change in my perspective on travel. 

Standing among centuries old architecture, I remembered how I felt in Rome during my first trip abroad when I was 14.  I remember the feeling of awe and of feeling small in an ancient, historic, storied place among the ruins.  Rome remains my ‘favorite city’ because of that feeling. 

I wonder if I would respond the same if I went today.   

Probably not.

I’ve moved on to a place of appreciation.  Beauty and amazement, yes, I see it – but with much more surrounding it.  It’s less overwhelming and inspiring.  It’s meaningful, but with fewer emotions attached.  I wonder if this change comes with being ‘well-traveled’ or with age or with my personal journey to becoming the skeptic (stoic?) that I am.

The experience isn’t less; in many ways, it may be more.  I see more of the story.  I care more about the people (and the food) beyond the monument – the now, how the past still mingles with it, and where it may be going next.  Perspective has changed – mostly for good.

But that innocence that was there when I was 14, standing among crumbling pillars imagining Cesar and Cleopatra in my mind’s eye, is enviable.  That emotion and wonder is coveted. 

I want my nieces and nephews to experience that.  I want them to have the sense that the world is bigger (in so many dimensions!) than their purview.  Travel almost necessitates discarding one’s boundaries.

More thoughts on travel:

• The best travel advice I ever received was to take pictures of people (including you) in front of monuments, scenery, etc.  You’ll look at these for memories more often; you can’t capture the in-the-moment-beauty of a thing in a snapshot anyway.  (I don’t always follow this rule, but I should.)
• The thing I’ve learned most from travel is to look out windows and over ledges, always – the perspective is different, and often exquisite.  Look through things, past them, deeper, closer and you’ll be amazed…most of the time.
• Sometimes being surrounded by beauty and antiquity makes me sad.  I can’t pinpoint the reason why, but I think it’s to do with the pensiveness that 'old' requires.
• Travel can very easily be substituted for exercise.  Two forts in two days = best workout ever.

http://thecultureur.com

 

How to do Thanksgiving in India

My family most certainly knows the kind of obsessive Thanksgiving control freak that I turn into beginning around midnight on Halloween. 

Turkey carving

Generally, the story goes: spend about 2 months looking at recipes and watching cooking shows; send out the email invite/request for potluck items about 3 weeks ahead of the holiday; create a menu and grocery list about 2 weeks prior; buy the turkey in time for it to thaw in the refrigerator; finish grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, and Kroger; and finally cooking and baking for 3 days before the entire family comes to my parents’ house for feasting and fellowship.

It’s a process. And I love it.  It is the best part of the year, no questions asked.  Cooking, productivity, organizing people, family, wine, cornbread dressing, pie – ..these are a few of my favorite things..

Alas, you may wonder how I was surviving in India, without a family to boss around, without an oven, without a tv for obsessive recipe refining.  I admit; it was tough for a few weeks.

BUT then, the Sunday before Thanksgiving a couple of dear fellows said to me, “Would you want to help coordinate Thanksgiving so we don’t have to go to a restaurant? Can we do it at your apartment?”

Football watching

(Be still my heart. All is well with my soul.  Oh so thankful!)  I replied, “Yes, of course, I’d love to.”

And then, I organized and cooked and was productive.  And it felt like family: lots of noise and helpfulness and debates and laughter. And there was wine. And the boys put on some football. It was generally accepted as a success.

So what am I thankful for this year:

• My family at home that puts up with my bossy holiday organizing every year. And who Skyped in twice for Thanksgiving.  And who are super supportive of me, always.
• My new small community here in Hyderabad that facilitated my obsessive tradition making this year.  And who roamed around the city shopping and baking for a week, which are great feats in this town with limited North American ingredients and ovens.  And who keep me sane on a daily basis in moments of questionable mental health.
• My friends that sent sweet virtual messages from so far away. And who manage to make me smile every time I hear from them these days (and always).
• And for the small miracle that is pumpkin pie, turkey, and cornbread dressing in India.

I hope you each enjoyed the holiday with an equal amount of gratitude as I did.

The Feast

Also, if you have never tried to explain Thanksgiving to someone who is not American, I wholeheartedly invite you to try.  It is fascinating and really makes you reflect on the holiday’s meaning… which is obviously the feast. 

(Ok, or maybe, it’s a time to share your blessings with those around you that you are grateful for each and every day of the year.)

Questions that need answers: yoga edition

I confess: I like yoga. I do. Kind of a lot.  

Mostly because it’s exercise that doesn’t require me to move too much, which is kind of amazing.  And because lying around with your feet in the air is oddly fun and refreshing. And because India requires that all residents enjoy yoga – I’m pretty sure that was on the visa application.

Despite my new devotion to the yoga, I sometimes wonder:

What exactly do open hips feel like?

Talk to anyone who has done yoga for any significant amount of time, I dare you.  They will tell you how amazing “hip openers” are; proceed to stretch in ways that send their legs in opposite and twisting directions; and then tell you how “open” their hips feel.  It feels great when your hips are open, I hear.

I don’t get it.  I feel the stretching when doing pigeon pose, I do. But, post-pigeon, I can’t say that my hips feel that much different.  It’s not like doing the back stretches that make me feel like I’ve relaxed my balled up muscles. That feels different afterwards. But open hips? I don’t get it.

Are your heels really supposed to be on the ground for downward facing dog?

I don’t think this is possible.  When it looks like the girl in the video is doing it, I’m positive it’s an illusion. 

I'm sorry, what? You want me to put my leg where?  What do you mean “if there’s space”?

Put my knee behind my shoulder – yeah, ok. Lean forward after contorting myself into some kind of animal – sure, let me get on that.  Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense.  It makes my face twist in the same direction as the instructor’s entire body. And that’s when I retreat into child’s pose or downward facing dog.  I can do those. 

Are sit-ups really yoga? (Don’t lie to me.)

Sometimes I do recognize these exercises.  Boat pose is so a sit-up.. a sit-up that you hold.  Be straight with me – I can handle it.  At least they call the pushup a pushup.  Just don’t lie to me, yoga. 

Why are we facing each other?

You should know, I am a really bad yoga-direction-follower and end up doing the opposite of the instructor – every damn time.  And I don’t realize it until I am in the middle of the pose and staring my yoga partners in the face, which shouldn’t happen.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Do I want to stand on my head?

No. No, I really don’t.  It looks like it hurts. And it’s a little scary. 

Maybe I’ll get there one day.  Maybe.

This is relaxing, huh?

It is.  It really is - especially weekend group yoga sessions that are also somehow hilarious. 

 

My roots have grown but I don't know where they are

Twenty-eight is creeping even faster to that ominous 30 mark than it was last year.  A lot of things are unnervingly the same as they were a year ago – namely, that “what does the world want of me” feeling – but, quite clearly, a lot has changed too.  (New blog, new location, new new new.)

My predictions that life sorts itself, that a new adventure would be defined, and that 27 would be wonderful were spot on. Grad school – done. New job – got it. Living in India for a year and growing in truly unexpected ways – who would have guessed?

Some of my favorite things:

Fabulous sunsets

Monkeys

New friends

But still, how do I know if all this movement is taking me the right way?

Thankfully, I found this fabulous list: 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She is 30.  This discovery was a thrilling comfort.  It gives me a benchmark! I can know if I’m living life right!

I’m only kind of kidding here, y’all.

I am a woman who made a “Things to do in life” list when she was 22, fresh out of college; who has kept that same list despite all the life-course-shifts she’s taken; and who periodically monitors it for completion, marking the date of achievement for tasks accomplished.

What?  You don’t track your life successes as if life were a social program to be managed?

I swear I’m not crazy, y’all.  I’m just a little . . . ok, I’m still trying to justify this behavior in a way that doesn’t seem crazy.  I’m leaning toward ‘internally competitive’ or ‘intrinsically motivated’ – how does that sound?

Anyway, point is, I like lists. Marking things off lists is hugely satisfying.  And it’s always nice to know when you’ve achieved something.  (No matter how subjective that something might be.)

So, in my typical fashion, I copied this 30-list to a Word document and went about checking off the things I feel I have accomplished, and noting the ones I have yet to complete.  

The good news is that I have more check marks than I thought I would.  The other news is that I still have some work to do and two years in which to do it...  More adventure/learning/seeing what life has to offer?  Fine, I’m ready for it.

Modern Hepburn

Thanks for all your birthday wishes, from near and far, and via every available communication mechanism.  I am so grateful to have support from so many various places.  Lots of love.