Current Events

Yesterday a woman was laid to rest after battling to survive being gang-raped on a bus in Delhi. 

This was a tragedy. This was a tragedy that is not uncommon in India. But this particular tragedy has struck a chord with the nation.

People are outraged. People are demanding change. People are calling for this woman’s tragic death to at least not go unnoticed. People are talking about, shouting for, writing on, believing in gender equality in India.

But how? That is the tricky part. Resignations of politicians and public leaders are being called for. Speeches are being delivered on the necessity of ensuring women’s safety.  New laws are promised to be written.  The enforcement of existing laws is being demanded.  Security reforms are being called necessary.  Will these things bring about the needed change?  How?

The answer does not lie in a law, or in politics, or in police reform, or in security cameras.  While all of these things are necessary, and are certainly part of the answer, the answer is to change the minds of people who think that women are inferior to men, who think that a woman’s clothing choice can dictate how another person can behave, who think that a woman’s lifestyle takes away her right to safety and choice, who think that women don’t have the right to choices, who think that women and men are different and must behave differently. 

That is a tall order.  India is a place marked by strongly held beliefs and traditions.  India has been called the worst place to be a woman among countries in the G20.  India is a country of 1.2 billion people.  And as Ms. Mangaldas points out, it is not only about changing men’s minds; women are just as likely to hold these beliefs.  That is a lot of minds.  It still may not add up to be half of the population, but nonetheless, it is a lot of minds to change. 

It requires a Movement. 

People know this.  But the question is: will this tragedy be the impetus for that Movement?  Is there hope?

There is hope.  There are a lot of voices. But it will not be an easy feat and it will not be achieved quickly. That is why all of those other reforms (laws, politics, security) are needed in the meantime. 

Baby, it's cold outside

Baby, it’s cold outside...

This bundled-up-cutie counted items I bought, "One, two, three."

Except that it’s not.

But the babies are wearing sock caps. The ladies are wrapping their sarees like shawls. The men are wearing jackets.

The high today was 84 degrees.

It’s not cold.  It’s sunny and warm every day.  Not a cloud in sight.

Things are different here. 

P.S. I’m a girl that loves a rainy afternoon.  Sometimes you don’t realize the things you will miss.   

Today I miss monsoon season?  Maybe not.  Maybe yes, though.

Christmas in Hampi

.. I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do ..
Ok, I guess an elephant will do...

Excitement much?

And monkeys and cows and squirrels and goats.

I spent Christmas Eve with nature (and a very sweet friend).

And then I spent Christmas day with Christmas music and wine and more sweet friends and delicious food.  (Thank you, Ron and your family, for hosting a very festive Christmas lunch!)



I miss my loved ones, but (as I reassured my mother) my surrogate family is pretty fantastic.

Hope y'all had a very merry Christmas and are looking to a peaceful New Year.

How to do the holidays in India

So, last week, a friend sent an email asking how I was enjoying the holiday season.  I'm pretty sure she was only asking in passing, but this is the response that she got:

Drummer boys (constantly)

"Holiday season.. it's kind of always a holiday season here.  Diwali ended a few weeks ago.  Today is the last day of the wedding season.  There are lots of drums and (the cursed) fire crackers, always.  The drums are fantastic. 

BUT, the Christmas holiday season... is it happening?  I forget that it's December really.  I had the best of intentions of sending Christmas cards, but I still have my sister's birthday card in my bag right now.. Her birthday is tomorrow.  I've been listening to Christmas music from time to time and I put cinnamon in my coffee, but alas, no Christmas spirit.  It's too warm and there is no tree or decorations and I don't have an oven and there is no wine.  And my mother's been on a "I miss you so much" kick lately, which makes things tough.......  But I guess that's ok.  (Sorry for rambling.. are you sorry you asked??)

That being said, I am going to a Hanukkah party on Friday and a holiday dumpling party on Saturday before people disperse on Christmas travels.  So it will come.  It's just different here - like everything else.  And that is good."


(Bless her heart.)

The Hanukkah and Christmas Dumpling party definitely helped.  I've been filled with latkah and eggnog and, well, with dumplings. 

And Hannah made us some lovely garland that graces our kitchen door.  And we watched A Christmas Story.

Merry Christmas.

Happy Hanukkah.

It's beginning to feel a little like Christmas.  We do what we can.  Things are different here.  And that is good.  It's good to see Christmas without all the hype and the stress, actually.. but man, what I wouldn't give for a candy cane!

'A Christmas Carol' moment in India

A post of Spirits Past, Present, and Future...

First a few pics I haven't shared yet (The Present):

Friends

 

 Festivities

Children

 

 Nature

And yoga

 What more could a girl really ask for?

And now, a few things that have been on my mind (The Past and Future):

 

I once asked an undoubtedly vibrant person how she did it.  She was a woman whose spirit truly, genuinely, brilliantly shined.  She was incredibly confident and yet possessed not-a-drop of arrogance.  She had every reason to be pretentious and self-proclaiming.  Not only was she smart and successful and strong, she was also funny and adorable and sociable; if adults had a cool lunch table, she would have held court over it.

AND, she was approachable.  Which is why I was able to ask her: how do you do it?  How do you become so comfortable with yourself?  How do you exude confidence without an air of superiority?  How are you such a rock star?

Her response was so common it was unexpected.  She said that sometimes you just have to “fake it ‘til you make it.” She said that it would be, eventually, if you just act like it already is.

I was skeptical (because this is my go-to state of being), but I’m learning more and more how true it is.  And I can’t think of any reason not to treasure every ounce of wisdom I gained from Jennie.  So maybe I’ll give in on this one.

Maybe, just maybe, there are some things in which you have to simply believe before they can exist. 

Like confidence. Or like being ok with wherever you will be in 6 months or 5 years.

Or like having your heels on the ground in down dog…

Just believe, they say.

“Pretending you know what you’re doing is almost the same thing as knowing what you’re doing, so just accept that you know what you’re doing even if you don’t and do it.”

And the inspiration for this blogpost is thanks to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFO50chkSDg

(Watch it if you have spare time and if you’re into super-geeky, quirky hilarity.)

A day of firsts

First village, first wedding, first saree, first true pang of missing my friends: 

On Sunday I woke up at 6 o’clock to get ready for a wedding.  Ok, I could only partially get ready.  I would be wearing a saree to this wedding; it’s the only wedding I’ve been to as a guest where I would require assistance getting dressed!

We left by 7:30 to go to the village – about 2 hours outside of Hyderabad.  Boulders and farmland and a tiger reserve (I suppress my giddiness, knowing that tigers are surely rare there) met us on our way.  

The wedding was that of my colleague’s best friend – a young IIT graduate.  Several of her classmates were joining to celebrate in the occasion.

When we arrived, I met the bride who was preparing for the pre-wedding pooja.  Dressed in bright colors and donning jewelry and flowers, she was absolutely the picture of beauty and grace.  Ever welcoming, she and her friends and family were gracious even as the household buzzed in last minute arrangements.  When the bride’s mother introduced herself to me, she so sincerely cupped her hand in mine and smiled so warmly to greet me. I was served a delicious breakfast.  

  

Then all of us young women dressed in our sarees.  It was a comfort that I was not the only person who needed help wrapping this fabric into a garment!  The ladies, who are all college friends of the bride, told me that it was the bride who always helped them to put on their sarees for festivities in college. 

I spun around once and suddenly I was ready.. Ok, ok. There was some pleating and some pinning and some tucking involved also.  But voila!, pretty quickly, pretty quickly I was transformed.  

  

After all were ready, there were pictures – “In India, we like to take pictures of everything,” I was told twice.  At weddings, of course there are lots of pictures!

Then there were ceremonies.  “Wherever the bride goes, just follow her.”  Pretty much the same as a Western wedding, no?  Except that at these ceremonies, children are free to come and go.  We watched, and awed at the bride, but none were too emotional nor serious except those doing pooja.  

 

This little guy was a highlight for me, dancing along with the drums and roaming as he pleased.  

And then, we arrived at the wedding hall.  And the marriage was performed.  So much symbolism and colors and life. The water cascade and the rice pouring were particularly beautiful.  

I was surprised that everyone was not as engaged as I.  

Water ceremony: beauty

Uncle in front row reading the paper

And then there was lunch.  And the couple received their guests – they stood for so long greeting everyone who was wishing them well!  It must be exhausting. 

And finally we took our leave.  We took off our sarees and came back to Hyderabad.  How was wearing a saree, you ask? Despite the pinning and tucking, I was pulling at the fabric all day for fear of coming disrobed – though I’m sure that that was near impossible.  Altogether, not bad.  I only sort of tripped once.

On the bus ride home, there was yelling and a sick child.  Welcome back to Hyderabad, indeed - spell broken.  I arrived home around 9 pm, exhausted.

Being with my friend and her dear college friends made me miss my own dear friends at home.  They were so fun and lively and comfortable.  My friends, can we please Skype soon!!!!

It was a lovely day.