On gender

I’ve been putting off posting on this particular subject for a few reasons.   1. I didn’t want to immediately come off as that-feminist-chick-who-only-wants-to-talk-about-gender-issues.  2. I wanted to wait until all the initial culture shock wore down so I could be more objective.  3. I feel like there’s so much more to understand – it’s not as simple as it seems.

UN Women's Photo Gallery

 

Now, after being groped once, stared at constantly, and verbally harassed often, I feel like I have the right to talk about it.  Here it is, gender stuff:

Women here, contrasting to observations in Dar es Salaam, are present and visible.  There is a dialogue about women.  Women are seen (in unequal numbers) in the workplace.  But, men are still far more abundant in everyday, out-of-the-house life; the inequalities are easily identified.  I will not get used to being escorted to the ‘family and A/C’ section in restaurants: ‘Women other side!’ one doorman barked.  I probably offended the room full of male diners when I walked to the counter to buy a bottle of water one evening when I first arrived.  

 

 

At some weddings, guests are separated by gender.  Schools separate classrooms by gender.  Even at security points we are separated by gender.  It is disconcerting.  It seems to say, ‘separate but equal.’  It really seems to try to say ‘separate but better’ – women get A/C, pat downs by other women, to sit in the front of the bus, to dress traditionally and conservatively ‘for their own safety’.  It tries to say that things are different for women for our protection, for our own good – but it is separate, which is inherently not equal. 

Up in Delhi, they have a great, modern public transit system.  This world-class metro has a Women’s Compartment at the front.  This car, indicated with pink signage, is for women only and is less crowded.  Women are also allowed in the co-ed General Compartments– overcrowded and filled mostly with men, it is sometimes referred to as the Men’s Compartment.  The segregation is said to be due to heavy eve-teasing (harassment) in trains prior to the change.  It is said to give women an option other than (an escape from) harassment.

This separation does indeed reduce the act of harassment – no access, no opportunity to behave badly – but it does not address the root cause; it does not change the behaviors or attitudes of men who think it ok to grab, touch, be lewd toward a stranger simply because she happens to be there; it does highlight the differences between genders and the vulnerabilities that women face because of the inequality between men and women; it does lead to men saying that women should not be in the “Men’s Compartment” (especially if she doesn’t want to be harassed?).  Segregation is not the answer.  But it is widely accepted.

Sigh.

But there is a dialogue.  There is a shift.  In parts of Hyderabad, we use the same metal detectors as men.  In most restaurants, we sit in the same section as men.  Women ride motorcycles alone.  Some women wear whatever they please.  Many women hold leadership positions, run their own enterprises, and are seeking and standing for equality.  Young women especially seem liberated.  I imagine there are a lot of factors in determining these steps forward, and who is likely to take them.  I imagine these factors impact access to opportunities and education as well.  (Maybe a discussion of these factors will be for another post… this is only the tip of the gender iceberg.)

These are just my thoughts.  Like I said, it is more complicated than it seems.  I get that. I won’t harp on this too much, even though you can count on it being a longtime on my mind.

UN Women's Photo Gallery