So, you know when you go to the doctor and come home with estrogen body spray? ... No? ... Oh.
Without going into details as to why (because, that's personal and you don't want to know), my new doctor put me on a trial dosage of estrogen for a couple of months. Application method: topical via spray bottle. I am supposed to spray estrogen on my forearms for one week in each of the next two months to see if a dip in estrogen is causing my body to rebel.
Ok, that may sound a little odd (and for this medicine-averse girl, a little scary), but I went with it when my doc suggested it - seeing as it is just a trial. When I read the instructions at home, though, I noticed an important note:
Do not let anyone come into contact with the area where Evamist is sprayed. This gave me pause.
No one should touch my arms for a week? Apparently not. The Evamist website goes into more details, repeating at least four times the importance of keeping ones hormone-infused skin away from other people's non-infested skin.
So my question is how, in this public-transit-world, am I supposed to manage to keep people from touching my arms? What if this unseasonably cool weather suddenly turns hot? Do I have to stick to long sleeves? Do I need to wear, like, metal arm warmers or something to keep everyone else hormone-free?
Wait... this finally explains Wonder Woman's fashion choices. Maybe she gains her strength and power from a mist of estrogen every morning and chooses to protect the rest of humanity by covering her arms in those clearly uncomfortable metal sheaths. What a gem she is.
I
clearly know very little about super heroes and comic book super powers, but I am going to stick to this explanation at least until my trial run of estrogen doping is over. For the next two months, I will imagine myself with super powers capable of many things.
Sure. We'll go with that.
PS Speaking of super heroes,
Guardians of the Galaxy is a winner. I recommend it.
